Wanting To Disappear. The Ugly Side Of Life Online

It’s 3AM and I am upset.  Frustrated.  Sad.  I kind of want to disappear from every possible online presence I can.  I have been sitting here for at least 30 minutes trying to think of reasons why I shouldn’t.  Sounds pretty dramatic I know, but when I feel overwhelmed with this amount of negativity, I tend to go into an all or nothing mindset.  Thankfully, it never usually lasts more than a day or week at best.  Typically something happens or someone says something, restoring my faith in humanity, and I plunge headfirst back into the jungle.  I open myself up anew as if the wound never existed and risk it all over again.  Because I want to believe love and kindness exist more than hate and cruelty in this world.  

I have chosen, in recent years, to attempt eliminating judgment from my life.  It is very important to me not to judge anyone for anything.  If I find myself disagreeing with someone else’s opinions or ethics, I won’t argue, I will simply step away.  Sometimes I will express a kinder and gentler opinion, but you will be hard pressed to find me take any further than that.  When a friendship/relationship does not serve me or my personal well-being, I will begin to remove myself from it slowly and politely.

I try hard to live by the “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” philosophy.  As a result, people often tell me I see the world through rose-colored glasses or I am too idealistic.   The truth is, I have seen and experienced quite a lot in my life.  I just choose to live in a way that looks forward, not backward.  I do not dwell on the bad things from yesterday, I believe in the good that is in front of me today, and tomorrow.

But I am human.  If I see social injustice or inequality, I get frustrated.  Sometimes downright defiant.  It is hard for me to understand hating someone because of the color of their skin, the country they come from, their sexual orientation or gender preference, their religion, their immigration status, etc.   There is no conceivable way for anyone to determine if an individual is a good person by passing judgment on them for any of these reasons.

I’ve seen so much of that kind of judgment this week (mostly online) that human side of me is frustrated.

Late in 2014 when I discovered the nomadic community on YouTube, I was excited and inspired.  I began subscribing to channels and watching them faithfully.  With only one or two extreme exceptions, everyone seemed to get along with each other as far as I could see.   Not everyone saw things the same way but no one questioned anyone else’s integrity.  Until they did.

Peace and harmony are not the status of things as they stand today.  The community that inspired me is now making videos against each other, even creating whole channels to mock creators they don’t like or approve of.  I’m seeing mean angry rants, rant responses, and a whole lot of everyone worrying what other people are doing, which is really none of their business.  There are also people who genuinely believe they can help bring peace by calling out the ranters, asking them to fall in line and behave.  Sadly, it only serves to cause more drama.

disappearThen you have the people who cause real life trouble for those they don’t like online (Youtube, FB, etc).   These folks find and post personal information online about the person they have decided they don’t like and encourage others to call companies the ‘offender’ does business with, in an attempt to get the company to drop said offender as a customer.  They make threats against the offender, threatening personal safety, property, pets, etc.

One person recently went so far as to post the license plate of someone they dislike online and encouraged people to call in to report anonymous fake claims for drunk driving, stolen vehicle, reckless driving, littering and worse.  Shockingly, people did it!  Where does it stop?  Where is the line?

Look, if you don’t like someone’s channel, just unsubscribe.  If the way they live their life doesn’t vibe with you, you don’t have to have anything to do with them.  If you don’t like their Facebook posts, unfollow them, remove them as a friend, or totally block them if you feel the need.

If you are looking for a reason to dislike someone it won’t be hard to find it.  Try to consider why you don’t like them.  For example, there is someone I ran across online recently that bugs the hell out of me.  After some deep reflecting into why, I realized she bothers me because she reminds me of a version of myself when I was much younger, that I am not proud of.  Does that make her a bad person?  Not at all.   The problem is with me, not her.  She is younger and growing as a person, much like I was at her age.  It’s not her behaviour I don’t like, it’s the memory of my own behaviour.  She just reminds me of myself enough to make me think about it.

As I close this post, I would like to suggest that before you photograph, videotape, post, or even comment, ask yourself if it’s necessary to say what you are about to say.  If it is a topic you are passionate about, are you representing that passion by presenting it in a respectful way without ugly or combative language?  Will it hurt someone else?  Will it hurt someone you know or care about?  Is it more important to make your point and cause drama, or to have a peaceful and kind day?

I’m going with peaceful and kind.  All day every day.


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1 thought on “Wanting To Disappear. The Ugly Side Of Life Online

  1. I follow blogs like yours and a large number of YouTube channels but I do not comment that often. I find lots of very judgmental comments from people and I wonder to myself, how people can make a judgement about anything of the back of an on average 5 mim long video. Your post was thoughtful and well thought through. Because of that and the length of the post your usual trolls will get board after the first 10 words and the meaning will be lost on them, Wishing you all the best on your journey,

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