Clara Jean was known as ‘Mother’ to her children, ‘Grandmama Jean’ to her Grandchildren, and ‘Great-Great Mama’ to her Great Grandchildren.
My maternal Grandmother passed away this morning at 6AM. She was 90 years old. Her husband, my maternal Grandfather, passed away around 30 years ago. I don’t think she ever really got over losing him. Sometimes she would talk about all the things they had saved and planned for in their old age, but never actually got to do. I used to think she was mad at him for dying, but I think she was just never over his absence in her life each day.
Before he passed away, for as far back as I can remember, she would get up early each morning to make him coffee, placing it on the sink in the bathroom as he showered. She would then make him breakfast, pack his lunch (on days he worked), lay out his clothes for the day, and comb his hair just the way he liked it. She did this every single day they were together. She was dedicated to him her whole life, and when he was passed, I believe a little part of her was gone as well.
In a message from my Mom this morning, she wrote, “She’s with Dad for Valentine’s Day…”
My Grandmama and Grandaddy had big plans for when he retired and she spent the past 30 years following his death wishing he could have been there with her. For reasons only known to her, she chose not to pursue those plans alone. I don’t know if she was afraid or simply lost her inspiration when she lost him, but I hope she is at peace today.
My Dad’s parents both passed when my own child was too young to remember them, so I am grateful for the time we had Grandmama had in our lives. Though sadly, it has been years since I have been able to get back east to see her. In a previous blog, I believe I mentioned my plan to visit in August, once I began my travels. It was one of the first places I planned to go.
Excuse me if I am quiet today. I’m ok for the most part, but I can’t seem to predict when a tear will need to fall. A memory will cross my mind, and here they come. Mostly I worry for my Mom as she struggles with the loss of hers. I love you Mama.