Love, Relationships, And The Single Nomad

I have a friend who is completely consumed by the need to constantly be in a relationship.  She literally craves love and human companionship so much that she will jump from relationship to relationship, in one blissed out state to another, without ever giving herself time to appreciate the beauty of just being one with herself.   She’s that girl who annoys the hell out of you on Facebook talking about how perfect her relationship is all the time.  And it is!  Until it’s not.  Then she leaves.  When she ends a relationship with a man, she has a couple of deeply connected girlfriends that serve as fill-in relationships for her until a new man comes along, which never takes more than a few weeks.  And she loves again almost immediately.  Honestly, she can’t help it.  She is completely wired that way and has been for the almost 15 years I have known her.  She’s in love with being in love.   She is a muse to nearly every man (and woman) she meets.  A visual delight for the photographer, deeply soulful to inspire any poet, and tragically dramatic to the delight of any writer.  She is the girl dancing in a field of flowers, spinning circles in the sunlight, her hair flowing over her bare shoulders as her sundress blows in the breeze and a smile lights up her face.  I can’t deny, she is an absolutely magical woman to know.  

A post about love and relationships seemed like a great excuse to quote Bob Marley.

And then you have me.  Much less magical and muse-worthy.  I rather like being alone and tend to shut down anyone interested in a romantic relationship with me.  It occurred to me only seconds ago, while typing an email to a friend, that I truly never feel like my life is missing anything by not being in a relationship.  I don’t seek out romantic relationships like I used to 20 years ago and honestly forget that for most people not having a partner is lonely.  But I have spent the last 10 years single and I have grown so much as a person by focusing solely on me.  Sounds a little selfish perhaps, but it’s the truth.  I am a better person for having spent that time on my own personal development.  I really haven’t had time to miss love very much.

I have dated, but nothing ever progressed into a full blown relationship.  I honestly think I have become too picky.  Definitely too independent.  If there is a hint of someone acting like they need to control me, I shut it down fast.  If they are mean, judgemental, always complaining, or a pessimist?   uhm…. nope, nada, later, & goodbye.  Not that I am perfect mind you, but on my path to being my best me, I would like to continue moving forward.  Having a relationship that takes me backward just isn’t worth my time.

Just out of curiosity I did a Google search for single nomad meetup and found tons of people connecting out there.  I feel like you are far more likely to find a like minded person on the road doing the same thing you are.  Connections can be made and there are a couple of stories in the nomad community where those connections have happened.  Just look at the newly engaged Mark and Jess from Happily Houseless, the also recently engaged Chris and Cherie from Technomadia and others that are not coming to mind right this second.  But it happens!

I can’t imagine discovering this lifestyle and having this deep desire to live it, but being in a relationship with someone who absolutely unequivocally does not share the same passion.  Nearly every week on the Nomadic Fanatics Podcast someone in the chat says something about wanting to live this life but their spouse won’t go for it.  That is heartbreaking for me and makes me so thankful my life has brought me to this point as a single woman.  I am 100% honest with you when I say that no relationship I was in would survive this passion and fire inside me if I had a partner who was not on board.

It would be awesome to have a travel companion.  Someone else to take the wheel from time to time.  Someone to pay for half the gas and empty the black tank for me would be extra killer.  There are plenty of reasons why it would be nice to have someone along, but there are also so many reasons this adventure is amazing for me alone!   Let’s face it, not everyone can handle this kind of lifestyle.  Not everyone wants it.  So if down the road someone comes into my life that enhances it and wants the same things I do, I’m all about it.  Until then, this girl can handle things on her own.  Just sayin’.

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